Dream Brother

Introduction-

I grew up in family of four kids, two brothers, and one sister. This was ideal because there were a total of three girls and three boys in our family. But I, being the oldest, didn’t like it very much. Don’t get me wrong, I love my siblings very much, but I longed for someone older than me. Someone to laugh with, someone to tease me, someone to talk to about anything, someone who would understand me for who I am. I wanted an older brother.
So I wrote this story to help myself imagine what it would have been like if I weren’t the oldest. I decided to have it take place when I was thirteen. We were living in Eagle Mountain Utah at the time and I attended Vista Heights Middle School. My story begins on May 30th, 2016. Although I was really born in 1999, I had to move my birthyear up a little for my story to work. So really, I was thirteen in 2013.
I chose to have my older brother be three years older than me because I wanted to someone strong enough to hold me if I needed it, or old enough to know how to tease me just right. Also, I wanted him to be able to drive, and being thirteen when I first came up with the idea to write this, that meant he had to be three years older to be sixteen.
Now, the reason I named him Jeremy. Several names ran through my mind as I attempted to come up with something to call my fictional brother. Names like Josh, Carson, Kaden, James... None of them sounded like something my parents would name their first born. I have always liked the name Jeremy, in fact, I plan to name one of my sons Jeremy. My mother is especially fond of J-names, so it fit as perfectly as I could get. His middle name, William is my father’s middle name, and it sounded good with Jeremy. Jeremy William Jenson.
I hope you will enjoy this presentation, and know that I tried to use things that really happened or would have happened. This story is as realistic as it could possibly be. Thank you!



-Cambri A. Jenson

Chapter One-
May 30th, 2013-6:20 AM

Jeremy stepped out of the downstairs bathroom fully dressed and ready for school. He wore a green, plaid button up shirt with a smart collar, long jeans, and Nike brand tennis shoes. His mousy brown hair, so like his father’s, was pulled to the front, so the ends flipped up smoothly. His brown eyes glinted mischievously as he walked down the hall a few steps to his sisters’ room.
Upon entering, Jeremy’s freckled face split into a grin to see his sisters still asleep. The girls had recently renovated their bedroom, and Jeremy had to admit the mix of purples, greens and blues did have a rather nice effect.
Cautiously, Jeremy sneaked over to the bed he knew was Cambri’s, and quietly laid down on the floor next to the bed. He reached his hand up and squeezed her side. He heard her moan softly, but she made no other reaction, so he pinched her again.
She squirmed, “Jeremy!” She whispered, “You’re lucky I didn’t scream!” She attempted to catch her breath as she sat up and undid her hair which had been up in a large floppy bun on top of her head.
“What?” Jeremy asked in mock-surprise, rising to a standing position, “You’re ticklish?”
Cambri rolled her still sleepy eyes, “Go away,” she said, gently pushing him lightly on the chest.
He laughed and turned to leave the room, “See ya at breakfast!” He whispered.
//|\\
Sighing in exasperation, Cambri glanced at her sister in the other bed. She was still fast asleep. Lucky, Cambri thought. Jessica had the amazing ability to sleep through almost anything.
Softly, Cambri slid out of bed, her brown hair swayed at the movement, and she knelt in prayer for a few moments. When she finished, Cambri stood, snatched the outfit she’d laid out the day before, and walked into the restroom.

When Cambri was showered, dressed, and ready for the day, she went back into her room. She grabbed her backpack off the floor, turned of the fan that was still humming, and turned on a lamp. At the door, she turned back and said loudly, “Time to get up sleepyhead!”
When the bundle of blankets that was her sister quivered, Cambri left the room.
Upstairs, Cambri walked into the dining room/kitchen mix. The light was on, the table was bare, and Jeremy was sitting in a chair drumming his fingers on the wooden table.
Cambri dropped her bag on the linoleum flooring and stared at him for a moment.
“What?” He cried defensively.
“Jeremy, it’s almost seven ten and neither of us have eaten yet!” She berated him, “We’ve got to go in fifteen minutes and you haven’t done anything about it! Have you just been sitting here for twenty minutes, doing nothing?”
“What was I supposed to do?” Jeremy retorted, a guilty smile climbing up his face.
She gave him the teasing glare she reserved just for him, “You get the cereal, and I’ll wake Mom up.”
Cambri stalked off down the hallway to their parents’ bedroom. Reaching an open door, she peered inside. Jonathan had got there first. He was talking to their mom right now.
“Hey, hurry up! We’re gonna be late!” Cambri cried from the doorway.
“Yes I’m coming, break out the cereal,” Mom replied and Jono got up and attempted to race Cambri to the kitchen.
Cambri ignored him and continued to walk back to the kitchen. Back at the table, Jeremy was eating a bowl of Coco Puffs. Jonathan was on the counter reaching up to get a bowl of his own.
“Jono, use a chair!” Cambri said as Jonathan jumped down.
Shaking her head Cambri fetched a dish and a spoon for herself and sat down at the table. As she reached for the Coco Puffs, Jonathan snatched it out of her hand.
Cambri scoffed, and sat with her arms folded until he was done. Just then, Jessica came clambering up the stairs, brushing her snarly, chocolate hair.
“Where’s Mom?” She asked loudly.
“Shhh!” The other three hissed as one, “Alex is still asleep.”
“That’s a first,” She put the brush down on the counter and obtained a bowl and a spoon.
Mom walked out of the hallway and began preparing lunches for Jeremy and Cambri. Cambri was throwing the small coco balls into her mouth as the clock ticked closer to seven twenty five. When she finished, she stood up and cleared her place, Jeremy right behind her.
On their way back around the counter, Mom handed them both their lunches, and kissed them both on the cheek. Cambri grabbed her backpack and Jeremy his drawstring. Soon, they were out the garage door and climbing into Jeremy’s van. They drove down the street to Josh and Rachel’s house, and then to Erin’s. And then around the bend to Kennedy’s.
They were on Cedar Fort Road on the way to Saratoga Springs, in about twenty minutes. Cambri was looking out the window at some sprinklers watering a field. Then, an idea popped into her head.
“Hey, Jeremy!” She cried, a little too loudly.
“What?” He asked, startled.
“You know how tomorrow is the last day of school, right?”
“Yeah...”
Cambri spoke fast like she always does when she’s excited, “Wouldn’t it be awesome if we got like, all our friends in the ward and stuff, then went to the Open Space and had a huge water fight? I mean like, huge and we could have pizza and get soaked and be flippin’ awesome!”
Jeremy smiled, “You know, that sounds like fun, but I don’t know about the pizza. Somehow I don’t think Mom would want to buy all that.”
Cambri waved her hand like it was no big deal, “Still, it would be super cool to have that big of a water fight!”
“Yeah!” Came Erin’s voice from the backseat, “I can’t wait to kick Cade’s butt!”
Kennedy and I laughed. Josh looked enthused, “Can I pound all the deacons with water balloons?”
“Only if I can help,” Cambri answered, smiling her huge smile.
“When is it?” Rachel brought up.
Jeremy said, “How about right after school tomorrow, we’ll all get permission today, go home tomorrow, change and meet at the Open Space.”
“Does anyone have like tons of water balloons?” Cambri asked.
Kennedy raised a hand, “I can get my mom to take me to the Dollar Store after school today.”
“And if that doesn’t work out?” Jeremy asked.
“Buckets and hoses.” Josh said.



Cambri could barely contain her excitement as she rushed into school wearing her grey school T-shirt for people to sign. Looking for “the group” (as she called her friends,) wasn’t very hard. Lincoln was tall and had a head full of the brightest red hair in the school.
She found them quickly, hanging out in the hall by their old lockers. Trying to surprise them, Cambri jump-started Rylie, but Rylie just said, “Hey Cam.”
“Hey!” Cambri tried not to be disappointed at Rylie’s lack of reaction.
Alysson and Lincoln were arguing, which wasn’t a surprise, they tend to do that a lot.
“Tell me!” Alysson yelled getting right up into Lincoln’s face.
Cambri leaned toward Taylor, “What is it about this time?”
Taylor shook her head, laughing, “Lincoln won’t tell her who he likes, it’s kind of...”
“Stupid,” Paige put in.
Cambri snorted, "Since when do they fight about anything that's not stupid?"
The girls shook their heads, watching the argument with amused smiles.
Cambri was still excited about the water fight, and she couldn't wait to tell her friends. Naturally, she blurted it out in the middle of the argument, trying to distract them.
"Guess what, guys! We're having a water fight tomorrow!"
"Ooh! Can I come?" Paige asked, grinning.
"You're all invited!"
Tayler looked unsure, "I might be able to, is it at your house?"
"No but you can meet me there, or I can get my brother to take me to pick all of you up." Cambri said, enthusiastically.
"What time?" Rylie asked.
"The minute you get off the buss! Jeremy and I can come around and pick everyone up, then you must all be prepared to get soaked!"
Alysson had a question, "Is there food?"
Cambri laughed, "There's this magical thing called water. It's supposed to be really good for you!"
Alysson rolled her eyes while everyone else laughed.
Briiiiing!!!!
"See ya at lunch guys!" Cambri called behind her as she, Tayler and Paige headed for their science class.
Since it was the second to last day of school, they weren't doing much. In fact it was year book day! So everyone spent the entire period signing yearbooks, shirts, notebooks, and giving out phone numbers and addresses.
After Cambri had gotten everyone she wanted, she and her friends chatted and looked through the super cool yearbooks. There were pictures of people she knew and didn't. There were pictures and quotes from classmates and teachers. There were fun little surveys that had been taken during the year. And of course there were pages and pages for autographs.
Briiiing!!!!
Time for CTE (Career amnd Technical Education) with Brian and Devynn. Cambri immediately had Brian sighn her shirt. He was one of her best friends! He gave her his number and told her to text him. Devynn brought her entire collection of sharpies, so her name was quite a sight.
Cambri went through four of her classes, with basically the same routine. Then it was lunch time. Cambri loved lunch. Not because it got her out of class, but because she got to hang out with the best friends in the world.
She had her lunch box with her as she sat down at their usual table outside. Cambri hated waiting in the lunch lines. Especially at Jr. High. They seemed at least two miles long, and when you're hungry, that's a long time to wait.


2 comments:

  1. I really like it, because it is so literal. It's what you would do, but with a twist of your deepest longing. I wrote a couple of pieces in which I had an older brother. Because that is something I have always wanted. My mom tells me it is an overrated wish because she herself is the second oldest with an older brother and it wasn't the fantasy I always imagined. But I still have my imagination and so I wrote it. So I like that you've done this. You've made it so real and made it so it follows your real life. Just with that twist. Two suggestions I have are thus 1) (only because I've written at least two things with me, or rather a character representing me, with an older brother) Try to not make Jeremy overly cheesy; you still want to have that literal sense about him, but you'll lose it if you layer on the cheese, and 2) Try combining your smaller sentences together if it will work and use a variety of conjunctions to do so; sometimes there is a break between sentences that seems unnatural. But I do like this. I'm not sure though whether or not this is the end of what you uploaded or not. I can't find a "next" button or anything. Maybe I'm just incompetent.

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  2. Nope, that's it. It was more of a "what if" kinda thing. And yes, I do tend to break sentences into two like that. But that's my OCD kicking in mostly. The sentancea can't be too long! It would just be unnatural! Jk:-) the though!

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